The Chaos of Big Transformations

Chaos theory

Chaos theory (Photo credit: anroir)

In the last twenty years, we all have become an expert at making rapid transformations in our lives and business.  Sometimes, we are made to feel less than if we don’t create big transformations quickly.  In the past, I have found myself doing work where I lead major transformational projects and have been considered a change agent, so I have some idea on how to get things done.

In my experience, no matter how much you plan a big transformation, there is always a part of it that is chaotic, especially if you are trying to do something more quickly than usual.  Of course, this makes sense, because if we were following standard protocol, we would take the normal amount of time and effort to do something.

I can’t say that the move to a new location for my family and business is particularly aggressive in it scheduling.  Yet, after 14 years of living in our home,  it’s hard to not have a chaotic element to what we are doing.  Right now, I’m taking a break from packing and getting the new house set and taking the time to check in here.

Have you ever had a big transformation where everything went smoothly without chaos?

The biggest transformations in my life always had times of chaos in the middle of them, whether they were personal or professional.  With the most important transformations, everything changes for the better after the chaos.

I can already see a new enchanted oasis emerging for my family.  My mother was awe-struck this morning with how lovely our backyard garden looks.  In our best transformations, after the dust settles we end up “living” in a better new place and way of life.

You may not be literally moving to a new home, but so many of us are moving through big transformations and dealing with the ensuing chaotic moments.  This is an important time to remember to remain aware of how we are showing up.  In chaotic times we need both rest and awareness to remain calm.

Daily Contemplation:

What is the smoothest big transformation that you’ve ever had in your life?

When you were exhausted and tired from a change that you are experiencing, and you know the chaos must continue for a bit longer, how did you stay kind to yourself and others?

Are You a Master of Your Destiny?

Certificate of the Master title in the United ...

Certificate of the Master title in the United States of America. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


I once had a teacher who taught that each person would be wise to work towards becoming a Master of their own life.  To do this, she said we need to learn how to serve others.


There all kinds of masters.   We can become masters of our craft or career.  Some people are the master of their family.   Others master their time on earth.

If all masters served their students or followers or a higher good, I would find the term master to be something to seek after.  Unfortunately, being a master has often provided opportunities for abusing power over others. I tend to associate with patriarchal power used against the defenseless.


Yet, there is something about becoming a master of our own destiny that is an inherent aspect of not only American culture but personal development.  The type of master that has most appealed to me in recent years is becoming a spiritual master.  I have seen glimpses of the one reality that underpins all of life during my spiritual questing in the last few years.  There were even times when I have been able to hold on to states of bliss for months on end.  However, attaining bliss is not a form of spiritual mastery that satisfies me when so much of humanity deserves to be able to live in states of greater security, balance and comfort.



skills-3 (Photo credit: Vancouver Island University)

It bothers me that the technology and skill to feed everyone on the planet exists, yet I’m not sure what I could do to help that process.  The earth is the home to billions of people who if we could work together could create paradise on earth. Instead, most of us stay stuck living the same old materialist life.

It’s not so much that there are a few people who are truly evil that are making the rest of us suffer.  It seems to me that the problem lies in the challenge that we don’t know how to master collaborative living.

In America, we have a country of basically good people in America who can’t come to agreement on how to move into the future, even though we all know the visions for the next era of human growth cannot be the same as the last era that brought us to this stage of our development.  It’s not just the top 1% of America that is clinging to a materialist way of life, it’s much of our society.


A composed satellite photograph of North Ameri...

A composed satellite photograph of North America in orthographic projection. The observer is centered at (40° N, 95° W), at Moon distance above the Earth. Español: Imagen de satélite de América del Norte (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My sense is that the earth and nature want to teach us a new way of being a master, and for the next few days I’ll share some ideas about the era of learning self-mastery in partnership with nature, as well as the idea of collaborative mastery without all of us becoming borgs or robots.I sincerely hope that North America can take the lead in a new kind of personal and group mastery.

We have the resources to do this if we can find the will and wisdom!




Who Are Your Destiny Partners?

A Destiny Partner is a term that I came up with a few years ago, when I was working with some coaching clients and had an inspiration to help them look at their life differently. There is something about looking back at your life and looking for helpers in our life’s journey that gives many of us comfort.

You don’t have to believe in destiny to marvel at how sometimes people show up in our lives that are extremely important to our personal growth.

I’ve found there is an even more powerful question than asking who are our destiny partners for many of us, and that is:

Has there ever been a time in your life when you were a destiny partner for someone else? 

More than likely at some point in your life you have shown up in someone else’s life just when they needed a friend, a mentor, a colleague, a spouse or just a person who could listen.  It can feel like synchronicity, but often we don’t notice the importance of what we do for others.  This can be an incredibly empowering question for many people to answer.

Being that it’s Good Friday, I have another question to contemplate.

Does God or the Divine need us to be a destiny partner for goodness to come into this world? 

I believe the answer is yes. New Agey types,  including myself, talk about co-creation with the divine, and that sounds wonderful most of the time.  But sometimes the reality of what it means to be a destiny partner for the divine isn’t so easy.

I see the disciples and apostles of Jesus as his destiny partners.  Without them and the writers of the New Testament, and so many countless others, we would not know about Jesus’ life.  Perhaps a few mystics would feel Jesus life and presence, but most of us would never have heard his story.

Many of Jesus’ disciples were not too impressive on the day of his death which is of course commemorated today.   Interestingly, several of Jesus’ women “destiny partners” were with him to the end, and were also the ones that found the empty tomb a few days later.   It took courage and strength of character to be there when everything was falling apart.  As we know, for centuries, being a co-creator or destiny partner for Christianity was a dangerous thing to do.

Being a destiny partner to the divine and the truth, can still be dangerous, not only for Christians around the world, but also for Tibetan Buddhists, peaceful Islamic protestors striving for social justice across the Mideast, and many others of all faiths and even to those who are not aligned with religion but Imagine peace like John Lennon. For most of us, our lives are not going to end up in a world-changing spiritual story or a dangerous one.  I hope you never have to risk your life to live your destiny.  But you might!

Being a destiny partner is a high calling, even when we don’t see it.

For me, my children are my most important destiny partners. Who are yours?

For just ten minutes, think about who is and who has been helping you to grow as a person throughout your life.  Maybe more importantly, give yourself credit for all the people you have been serving through your life and how you embody goodness in the world, and without you the world would be a less divine place.