The Enchantment of Lose/Lose Situations

English: Win and Lose Lose Hill to the left is...

English: Win and Lose Lose Hill to the left is about 15 metres higher than Win Hill on the right. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are people who believe there is no such thing as a lose/lose situation.  They believe we can always create a “win” out of any situation. That may be true when we use a long-term approach to life.  In the short-term  there are situations where loss is inevitable and painful.

Some of you may be in the same position that I am, and may need to honor the workings of your inner and outer Enchanted Oasis as you face lose/lose situations so you can look at the biggest definition of what it means to experience miracles in your life.

In Lose/Lose situations, Enchantment asks that we face sadness and loss head on while we allow humor and kindness to come as well. We need to make room for holding the opposites together. It’s when we try to appear happy at all times or the converse aligned with only the depressing tragedies of life that we do our soul a disservice. The inner and outer Enchanted Oasis of our life can hold opposites together in ways that our human intellect cannot comprehend, and we need to honor that unfolding.

Lose/Lose Situations

As many of you know, I’m facing a situation with our little dog Ginger that has been frustrating, up and down, requiring patience and perseverance, and also filled with numerous instances of Grace.  Undoubtedly, many of you are facing or have faced what seem like lose/lose situations.  Maybe you are in a situation that no matter what choice you make, you are going to lose something.

Maybe it’s the loss of a relationship that you need to walk away from, an investment for college or retirement that you must sell to avoid bigger losses down the line, letting go of a job that you think you need or face losing your integrity, or dealing with the loss of someone who you love through death.  Or maybe you have to lose your innocence or gullibility, realizing that there are people in the world who are violent, selfish, greedy or in some other way lacking in personal mastery.

The toughest situations we face are the ones where we feel like whatever choice we make will lead to inevitable loss, and where we can’t see the possibility of an Enchanted Oasis of any type on the horizon.

The imperative during such tough times is to act on our highest freedom to be loving, and keep in my mind that the infinite, the truest reality is bigger than our current situation.  In the moment, we often don’t know how we can possibly get through our terrible and difficult situations.  Peace can be our ally in making decisions in times like these.


Peace! (Photo credit: aldrin_muya)

Almost always in life, enchantment and miracles occur when we are willing to make the choices that are most likely to bring the greatest peace for everyone involved.

Those choices are rarely easy ones at first.  I wish I could say that they always were easy, but they are not.

You have probably seen this too in your experience that once you truly commit to whatever is the most peaceful choice, not necessarily the one you want to make, Grace always comes in to help you and situations acquire a certain flow of goodness.  Always.  It may take some time, but Grace always appears if we have eyes to see her footprint in our lives.

If you want an enchanted life, when in doubt, especially in a lose/lose situation — make choices that create the greatest peace.  As you gain more insight through the experiences of your life, keep making new steps forward with peace in mind, and you will live and create an enchanted life.

If your life feels unenchanted in some way now, ask yourself, what choices could I make that will create greater peace in my world?

May the peace that passeth understanding bless and enchant you today and always!

9 thoughts on “The Enchantment of Lose/Lose Situations

  1. stephenedwards425 says:

    Karen, I have always found it helpful when making those “difficult” choices, to wrap myself in silence for a time…and that time varies. Sometimes it is as simple as pulling off to the side of the road, turning down NPR, and quieting my inner turmoil…other times the silence requires a few hours in my office with no one around while I sort through a few things in my mind…then there are those times when the silence required is a weekend or week long retreat…where I can do some extensive soul searching to find the True Answer.

    Great post…thank you…and still praying for Ginger…Susie, Jake the Wonder Dog, and I send our best wishes and prayers to you and yours.

    Be encouraged!

    • Karen Wan says:

      Isaac, I’m glad my blog could be of comfort. You have such an enchanting way of writing and synthesizing important sustainability related information through what I’ve seen at Ekostories. There was a time when I was working with some well-known environmentalists in Chicago, and only a few of them had your ability to share the enchantment and power of stories associated with healing and restoring the earth.
      There is a great need for many of us to bring the vision of a larger Enchanted Oasis in the world, of course coupled with practical actions. Yet, we are all gifted differently.
      Whatever your rough patch, I believe you have talents and an open heart the world needs. I’m sending you positive thoughts and energy so that your biggest dreams find a fuller expression in your life with greater ease.

  2. microrrelatososhortstories says:

    I do believe that even in apparent LOSE-LOSE situations we do GAIN something: a lesson well learned, a new found complicity/ empathy with a friend or family member that lived through the experience with you, renewed faith…God gives us the best, Protects us from the worse and everything in between is a lesson that had to be learned (I repeat this to myself when the going gets tough), read you soon, Alexandra

    • Karen Wan says:

      Alexandra, I agree. For me, it’s tough that when I’m in the middle of such a decision to choose what to release. I agree with you that in the long run, there is always something learned from all of our struggles. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!

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